It Doesn't Feel Like an End When Love is Left, but a Beginning...

      I am home in San Diego. Finally I can sit down, gather my scattered thoughts from the last five days of our trip, and share how the Lord worked.

       As our time in Kaluga came to an end it was obvious there was something different about this trip. At the concerts a few teens dedicated their lives to the Lord; it was so touching that the Lord would use us to save the souls of others. Pastor Dima shared at devotions, “It may seem like a small matter that we walked all over the city advertising the concerts and only a few came to the Lord, but lives were saved and that is all the difference to them. I don’t know about you, but if it was me I would say it was worth the effort.”

       There was something different in the air and I was too exhausted to truly see what was happening. With record high temperatures in Russia that caused a great amount of fatigue within the team and thanks to the many bug bites on my right foot it was complete swollen and hurt to walk on, needless to say I was worn. This is the Lord’s work not ours; He moved this city in a way my pathetic efforts could never accomplish. That Sunday, to all our surprise, around twenty of our friends from the concerts attended church. I was shocked. The pastor wrote this a few weeks later after our departure:
“After the outreach was over, the new kids that came to church on Sunday kept coming to every meeting we have during the week. And they wanted to meet even more, so we started a new believers study of the Gospel of John… Kids are bringing their friends. Almost every night we have a new person joining the study. Some received the Lord already. Those that have been in church for a few years now revived and want to reach out, the Lord has given them the heart for the lost… God is just bringing people to Himself, it’s amazing to witness that.”

      I have a new appreciation for, “in our weakness He is strong.” It wasn’t about our strength it was all about our willingness through weakness. Even though, looking back that even seemed insufficient, the Lord worked in ways that leave me at a lose for words.

     After returning to the Dorm, we prepared for one more visit to the Starista (country) orphanage. It was heart warming to see the beautiful smiles and receive the warm hugs from the precious ones.  I loved spending the afternoon with my little friends Maxium and Sasha. I met Maxium for the first time during our previous visit; it was hard to get him to smile at first but once he warmed up to me he was constantly giggling. I have known little Sasha for a couple of years; she is so precious. She is very quite but her smile melts my heart. Despite the heat, the children were so excited to play with us. The TN team surprised the children with a pool! They were ecstatic; gathered around their gift, watching it fill with water, and donning the biggest smiles. Good-byes were hard, since it is unknown if hello will happen again with these same faces. I don’t like to think about this…

   Then it was time to go home, again… I never like this part. I couldn’t control my tears as I walked towards the customs line at the airport. I looked back to see a group of faces I have come to love so dearly… These faces I have known for years and served the Lord along side. This fosters a deep connection I have never experienced until now; saying good-bye stopped my heart. When it all ends, it feels like a dream. I come back to a world that did not skip a beat when I was away. Though my experiences were life changing and altering to me, all is the same here. Pictures are the only tangible evidence that this was real. One of the hardest parts about leaving is knowing all this. When returning home from trips before it came as a sudden shock, now it is just expected. I come back to find a world that does not understand my self-revelations; perhaps part of coming to another one of life’s truths is this life does not accept it.

   Looking back the whole trip went by in a blur of color and love. So many places, so many faces, they all have a story and a heart that wants to be heard and understood. Some of these are from the past and others new, all beautiful people of Russia. I may be gone across the sea but the love of many is still here with me; my prayer is my love is left with them. It does not feel like an end when love is left, I believe it is only a beginning.

   Thank-you for supporting my family and I have through love, prayer, and donations; without these the trip would have been impossible.  We are truly blessed by all of you.
Love,
Shannon